Photo Op
by TinySprite
Summary: Greenshirts are hatching schemes again. This is going to end badly, or will it?
1. Chapter 1

TinySprite: (eyes burning in writing fury) This is for a friend...and also because the plot bunny is holding my candy stash hostage...

Kamakura: (looking around) Has anyone seen Sensei? Scarlett's looking for him.

Tiny: Later! (snaps fingers) Disclaimer now!

Heavy Duty: (looking at a list) Guess it's my turn.

**Disclaimer: **TinySprite owns nothing of GI Joe aside from Hasbro approved items. Only the original characters are hers, if that.

(-)

It started out a good day, really honestly. Cobra hadn't attacked, the sun was shining, and the temperature was just perfect for spending time outdoors. In addition, many of the greenshirts were enjoying some down time, intending to relax as much as possible. Especially a certain group, who were ignoring the absence of a group member in hopes of a (somewhat) normal day off.

Then, the missing member called a meeting and the day rapidly soured. In the chosen place, a small closet in a random hall in the Pit, a short male greenshirt in the standard uniform was waiting. Having previously been a supply closet, much of its contents had been slowly transferred to various other closets to make room for a beat up table and five small folding chairs.

At the head of the table was where he sat, his eyes focused on the papers and charts before him. His dark hair and dark eyes seemed even more so in combination with his pale skin and the bad lighting of the closet. Muttering under his breath, he visibly was losing himself in whatever scheme he was cooking up in his head.

He actually missed the door opening to let in a grumpy male taller than himself, also in the standard greenshirt uniform. His light brown hair was cut short and his also light brown eyes quickly narrowed in on the other. Stomping over to his own chair, the newcomer flopped himself into it, growling, "This better be good Napoleon! I was about to take a nap!"

He was ignored, as usual, in favor for a quick jotting down of whatever had come into his fellow's mind. With a sigh, he sat back, knowing nothing would break Napoleon out of this mindset until they were all here. The door opened again to let in a very tall male, again in the standard uniform. With his deeply tanned skin, well defined muscles and normally playful green eyes, all that was missing was for his blond hair to be grown out to complete the surfer look.

The new greenshirt sat himself next to the brunette, exchanging a companionable nod with him, "Mercury, you look tired."

Mercury snorted, "Got denied my nap. What about you Atlas?"

Named mainly for his height, the blond shrugged, "I was about to play some cards. I think this just saved me maybe fifty bucks."

The smaller greenshirt made a noise of possible agreement, "You know what this is about?"

His question was countered with another, "Do you?"

Silence answered them both, revealing Napoleon had yet again shared no information about this meeting. After a minute, the door opened yet again, letting in two females. One, a petite reddish-brunette with lightly tanned skin, was yet again in the standard uniform. The other girl, a medium brunette of average height with skin a darker tan, was instead in mechanic's coveralls. Both had blue eyes, but the mechanic's were a much darker shade.

They seated themselves in the two free chairs, the smaller girl lightly while the other dropped herself almost rudely into the chair. Leaning back in her chair, the brunette pulled a piece of hard candy out of her pocket. Peeling the wrapper off, she flicked it onto the table, popping the candy into her mouth after asking, "So, what are we doing today?"

Her harsh tone seemed to snap Napoleon out of where he was, earning her a light reprimand, "Candy, no trash on the table."

Candy ignored him, but the other girl helpfully plucked the wrapper away to toss into the little trash can in the closet. The small male nodded at her, "Thank you Squeak. Now, as for the matter of today, I've looked into our budget and noticed we are quite short of funds."

The other four looked at each other, clearly not understanding. Atlas tried to reason with him, "Um, Napoleon, GI Joe is one of the best funded units, I don't see -"

The short male slammed his hands on the table (earning a sharp and almost painful squeak from the petite girl), eyes full of fury, "No no! OUR budget is lacking! We do NOT have sufficient funds for our projects!"

At once they all groaned, realizing this was going to be one of 'those' days. Squeak sighed, "Better than helping out in the kitchen...I'm on dessert duty tonight."

Atlas gave her a confused look, "But you make great pi-"

She surprised all of them by jumping up and slamming herself into a corner, shrilly yelping out, "Don't say that! You'll bring him here!"

Even Napoleon looked at her like she'd lost her mind. Candy tried to soothe her, "Squeak, it's been weeks. I'm pretty sure he won't know it was us that started that trap fad."

The brunette girl gave her a look, "Sgt. Major knows his..." she stopped herself before continuing on, "his p-i-e-s! He'll know I was the one to make the first bait!"

The other four sighed, Mercury rubbed his forehead, "Squeak, you're taking this too far. After all, he'd only recognize it if you made the same one again, right? Isn't tonight's supposed to be banana cream?"

She stayed silent, a clear indicator she knew something they didn't. Napoleon's eyes lit up and he leaned forward, eager for the information, "What is tonight's dessert flavors?"

The small girl muttered something. Atlas prompted her gently, "Come on, you can tell us. We're your friends Squeak, promise."

She was silent for a minute more, before finally admitting, "Tonight we're serving banana cream...and shoofly pie."

Everyone was so silent, they probably could have tricked Storm Shadow into thinking the room was empty..if he wasn't paying strict attention. Napoleon finally broke it, disbelief clear in his voice, "That...that was banned..."

The cook shrugged, "Someone convinced Hawk to allow the kitchen to serve it again. Sgt. Major's been visiting the kitchen and surrounding area as much as possible since about lunch."

Now they knew why she'd reacted so earlier. BeachHead had probably tried to convince the greenshirt cooks to let him have an early slice of the previously denied treat. Another brief silence came about, which Napoleon broke yet again, a wide smile on his face, "This is perfect!"

"It is?" Mercury stared at him, his remark mirrored on the others' faces. The short male chuckled, standing up out of his chair to properly divulge his plans, "We need to raise money for our cause, the Sgt. Major is distracted by a rare good, which gives us time to put our plan in motion."

He started to strut around the table, which prompted Squeak to sit back down to avoid being in his way, and continued on, "You see, we need to collect our money just so, to avoid raising any suspicion."

Napoleon stopped himself in front of his seat, looking out at the four before him, "Assignments are as such: Atlas and Mercury, you're both to run interference and collect subjects, I don't care how. Kidnap them if you have to! Candy, you're also to collect subjects and help set up. Squeak, you're on snacks and set up as well. As for myself, I shall take care of information and layout."

Everyone stared at him. Napoleon stared back, clearly wondering why they weren't jumping up and doing their jobs. Candy sighed, placing a hand over her eyes as she crunched her now thin candy, "What are we doing? This sounds kinda big this time."

Their self-claimed leader blinked, "I didn't say?"

"No!" was the resounding answer from all four. The short man seemed shocked that he'd missed such an important detail and quickly clarified, "We're taking pictures."

Mercury couldn't believe it, "Pictures? Really?"

He received a nod as an answer. Atlas threw his hands out, clearly about to just up and leave, "Why are we taking pictures?"

The received answer confused the other two men, "For the calender of course."

The girls however clearly got what he meant. Candy sat up straighter, eyes lit up in interest while Squeak blushed and ducked her head down some. The mechanic giggled, "Like those firefighter and construction worker ones?"

Napoleon nodded, without shame, "I've done some extensive research and noticed a surprising lack of military ones...well, at least ones with male subjects."

Squeak stammered, her entire face a deep red, "W-who are we g-getting?"

Their leader's face fell somewhat, "Whoever we can get."

Mercury groaned as it all clicked in his head. _Those_ calenders...as much as he wanted no part of this, he just knew he was going to be dragged into it somehow. Looking at the larger man, it was clear Atlas had the same line of thinking. With a sigh, the chemist asked, "And just how is this going to make money? They're going to want to know where the money's going and I doubt they'll just hand it over to us."

Napoleon smirked, "From the calender sales of course. Those profits will pad our budget nicely."

Atlas shook his head, "No, no it won't. First off, how are we getting them made? And second, do we even have permission for this? If we were any other unit there wouldn't be that much of a problem, but this is GI Joe. I doubt Hawk will allow the sale of anything that could be used to identify a Joe."

Napoleon's face fell a little, but he still had a small smile on his face, "Who said we were selling to the public? There's a large number of women here that we can cater to. Who knows, this might even win someone a date! As for getting them made, I figured we could do it. Just get some supplies and all that, using the profits to make up for it."

The other two men frowned but quieted down. It seemed that unlike most of his plans, the short male before them had actually taken the time to think this through. An idea popped into Atlas' head, prompting him to ask, "And just what is this money being used for? I'm not going to trick honest guys into giving money for something selfish."

Napoleon actually looked somewhat hurt at that, "That's a surprise but trust me, it's not a selfish subject."

Mercury tried a last ditch attempt, "What if we got more people than we need? There's only so many months in a year!"

Their leader regained his smirk, leaning forward to put his hands on the table, "Lottery system, but profession might play a factor. Like guys with cold weather jobs would get the cold months and those with warm jobs would get the warm months."

Candy nodded, adding in, "Like Snow Job might get December and Dusty would get June?"

Napoleon smiled at her, "Exactly! Any extra photos would be compiled in a portfolio with permission and sold separately. If there's a tie, we'll see if the men in question wouldn't mind sharing the month, as in they take a picture together. If not then we'll have a tie-breaker judge come in or just give it to someone else if possible."

Squeak piped up, "Who'd be the judge?"

He hesitated, "Still working on that. Hawk would be a good choice, but I'm tempted for another lottery system using the ladies of Joe. This calender does appeal to them more than us men so it seems more practical, yes?"

Candy and Squeak happily nodded while Mercury and Atlas were resigning themselves to this. Atlas came up with another stalling tactic, "Just how are we getting people and who are we using? Joes or greenshirts?"

Napoleon pointed at him, "Like I said, anyone we can get, anyway we can!"

Mercury tried one last attempt, "And where are the pictures taking place?"

The short greenshirt smirked, "Subject's choice, if possible. Otherwise, whatever fits them best. However, I doubt we'll be able to do anything off base and I don't want any subject completely naked. Shirtless is very much preferred but nothing shorter than Ranger panties if they've got them. If not, swim trunks at the least."

Mercury sighed and finally gave in completely, knowing he wasn't winning this time. Atlas had a similar expression on his face. The girls simply looked too happy. Their leader clapped his hands, in full swing now, "So, let's get to work people!"

The girls jumped up with a cheer and shot out of the room, while the two guys dragged themselves out of there. However, a second later, Squeak poked her head back in, "Hey Napoleon, when are we doing this?"

He clarified it for her, "For now, we're trying to set everything up. We'll actually take pictures in about next week at best. But still try to get subjects and find out what times we can work with them."

Seeing a sudden doubt on her face, Napoleon smiled kindly, "Don't worry Squeak. I already checked with Hawk. So long as the calender stays in GI Joe or at the very least, nothing identifiable to GI Joe or the subject's identity is within the photo, we've got the all clear. Have trust in your leader!"

She smiled, clearly relieved and scampered off, hopefully to spread that information to her fellows. Napoleon walked over to close the door after her before returning to his seat. Straightening his papers, he double checked that everything was in order before tucking them away in a manila folder. Assured of that, he left the closet, turning off the light behind himself.

This plan would succeed. There was no way it couldn't.

(-)

Tiny: Okay, here's the first part! More to come soon!

Snake Eyes: (hiding a bag behind his back, trying to sneak it out)

Jynx: Sensei, is that can-(gets cut off by furious hand-signing)

Tiny: (hasn't heard them) Feedback is very much appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

TinySprite: (tearing through couch cushions) Where is it?

Hi-Tech: (whispering to Spirit) No one's told her what really happened to the candy yet, have they?

Spirit: (whispering back) Nope.

Scarlett: (wondering how much longer she has to put up with this) I've got the disclaimer.

**Disclaimer:** TinySprite does not own GI Joe, which is copyright of Hasbro. All she owns is the original characters in this story. Arguably, she doesn't own the plot either.

Tiny: (looking up briefly) Forgot to put this in the previous chapter, but this was inspired by a twitter conversation with willwrite4fics, CrystalOfEllinon, Karama9, and Totenkinder Madchen. Go check out their stuff!

(-)

The following week passed slowly for Mercury, Atlas, and Napoleon. For Candy and Squeak, it passed almost too quickly. At the next meeting, both girls were practically bouncing in their seats while Napoleon looked on amused and the other two men just looked tired and irritated.

Napoleon started the meeting, "Alright, everyone had their tasks. Now let's hear progress reports. Mercury, you start."

With a sigh, the chemist grumbled, "I've got permission to use a spare room for set up to make the calenders, but we've got to either get our own supplies to actually make them or pay reimbursement if we don't."

A minute passed before their leader prompted him, "And?"

Mercury rolled his eyes, "And that's it. I couldn't get around to asking any of the guys. I overheard Tripwire say something about model pics, but I don't know if he meant he'd modeled or if he had pictures of models. Didn't get a chance to actually ask him since right after that was when the first of those stink bombs went off."

Everyone at the table winced, remembering the mentioned incident. Some bored Joes had decided to set off a prank which had somehow gone wrong. Instead of the PT course, the intended target, several of the bombs had activated inside the Pit instead. Many areas still had a residual stench in them, despite the efforts made to clear them out.

Napoleon nodded, accepting the information and settled his gaze on Atlas, who took that as his cue to begin. Shrugging, the tall greenshirt said, "Not much luck here either. I tried to scout out some people among the greenshirts, but that didn't really pan out."

The much shorter male frowned, "Why not? There seemed to be quite a few candidates among them."

Atlas pinched the bridge of his nose lightly, clearly feeling he didn't need to explain, "There's some show-offs yeah, but a lot of them either didn't get what I was trying to explain or just walked off with the wrong idea. I think we're gonna have to count on the Joes for this..."

Napoleon made a hum of thought in his throat, processing that before looking at Squeak, "And you? How are we with food?"

She shook her head lightly with a nervous half-smile, "So-so. I can make basic snacks and sandwiches, but it would help if I knew the set-up better as well as who would be there."

Atlas raised an eyebrow, "Set-up? Why would that matter?"

The cook gave him a look, "Am I setting up a table or just making a platter? There's a difference. Table means more food, while a platter usually means less. Also, a table could hold actual snacks and such while a platter would be limited to often just finger food. Not to mention a platter would run out faster, possibly needing multiple refills but a table will last much longer and is easier to replenish."

Atlas put his hands up in gesture of surrender, teasing her, "Alright, alright, I get it."

She sat back in her chair, a smug look on her face, "Also, I might have gotten Roadblock."

Candy squealed and gave Squeak a high-five. Mercury and Atlas stared at her in disbelief while Napoleon smiled broadly, congratulating her, "Excellent work Squeak! May I ask how you managed it?"

The brunette smiled, "He noticed me trying to work out a system for snacks," she motioned to some papers on the table before her, "and asked what I was doing. We got to talking and he volunteered so long as the proceeds go to a worthy cause, like a charity."

Their leader nodded, "It's a surprise, like I said but he has no worries. Was there anything else?"

She nodded, "He requested a month with a major holiday, but the decision was left to us which one. Roadblock said he might have some time this upcoming Thursday in the afternoon for us to take a picture, but that might change depending on circumstances."

Napoleon nodded again, picking up a pen to jot something down in a notebook, "That's fine. November might work best for him, double-check to make sure."

Squeak made a noise of confirmation, clearly pleased with herself. Candy smirked, starting her report with no prompting, "I've got some leads, nothing as good as Squeak's though."

Mercury and Atlas both stayed quiet, feeling shown up despite not having wanted to be part of this. Napoleon simply looked up from his notebook, "Such as?"

The mechanic handed some papers over to him, "During some free time, I sat down and thought about which Joes would be most likely to do this. Clutch, Quick Kick and Shipwreck would love a chance to show off, as would Storm Shadow though I'm not sure if he'd agree to it. Dusty might if he was asked nicely, same with Spirit and _maybe_ Alpine. I'm pretty sure Snow Job and Ace might agree if they get a cut of the proceeds. Beyond that, I just thought of anyone that might not mind and wrote their names down. Their names are in black ink."

Their leader nodded, flipping through the papers, "And the rest?"

Candy smirked broadly, popping a fresh piece of hard candy into her mouth, "I baited those."

Mercury stared at her, "Baited?"

She nodded, still looking very pleased with herself, "Yep. I left a couple of similar calenders to what we're doing in the main break room when it was empty and waited. Those are names of any guys that came in, saw the calenders and bragged they could do better. Gung-Ho and Torpedo were some of the loudest, as were Leatherneck and Wet Suit but those two quickly got into a fight over who was better. Stalker joked with Beach Head about the models' fitness, but I'm not sure if either would agree. All of those names are written in blue."

Pausing a second to move her candy around her mouth, the mechanic added, "I would have gotten more information but I was getting worried that those calenders would be thrown away or torn up so I got what I could and left. Before that though, a lot of girls expressed interest so we've definitely got customers."

Napoleon nodded, clearly happy with the new data, "So we're off to a good start. Change of assignments are as follows: Mercury and Atlas, you're both in charge of set up and are to help Squeak as needed. Squeak, you're still in charge of snacks, but I also want you to collect subjects, using Candy's lists. Candy, you are to collect subjects as well, please make Squeak a copy of this," he handed back her lists, "and you are also to actually take the pictures, since you clearly are best acquainted with this project. I shall set up the calender layout and handle the rest."

Motioning for the other girl's papers, he glanced through them before handing them back, "A platter or two of basic sandwiches should be fine. I'll let you know if it turns out otherwise."

She nodded, her earlier confidence seeming to fade slightly at her new assignment. They all knew she would have much preferred sticking to just snacks, where she felt the most comfortable. Mercury and Atlas both much preferred their new assignments, despite still not liking the overall project. It was easy to see Candy was very much pleased as well.

Napoleon realized his personal blunder and smiled apologetically at the others, "And as for my own report, everything is going smoothly on my end."

The other two guys gave him a look, while Squeak looked at him curiously and Candy...she was lost in her own world at the moment. The shortest of them didn't share anything further, like usual, and instead shooed them out of the door, "Now, get to it! We're on a schedule here!"

The other four left more or less quietly. Mercury was grumbling under his breath, Atlas just seemed annoyed at the whole ordeal and Candy was whispering something to Squeak that had the smaller girl blushing madly.

Napoleon double-checked his papers, ensuring to himself yet again that all was in order. Glancing at his notebook, he jotted down a few lines before flipping a page to write something longer. Done with that, he closed it and gathered up his things. Before leaving, he took a minute to ensure the door was secured with two different traps.

With Joes getting restless and in a pranking mood, he was taking no chances for possible sabotage. On that note, he remembered it was almost time to pay rent for use of the closet. Adding that to a mental schedule, he continued on down the hall, contemplating which of his work projects was most pressing for him to work on, if not finish today.

(-)

Tiny: (shouting from a coat closet) That's it for this chapter! Feedback is appreciated! Oh, I'm going to try and update this weekly, so wish me luck!

Duke: (sighs) Maybe we should just get her more candy...


	3. Chapter 3

TinySprite: (ripping into a bag of mini chocolate bars) SWEET CHOCOLATE!

Heavy Duty: (on his cell phone) So, you're sure this is normal? I mean...

Voice on other end: Trust me, it's normal. Expect this about every Halloween and Easter. Just have a bag of candy ready and everything should be fine.

Hi-Tech: I think it's my turn for the disclaimer.

**Disclaimer:** TinySprite only owns the OC's in this story. GI Joe is copyright of Hasbro. The plot was inspired by a twitter conversation.

HT: That should do it.

(-)

Two days after that meeting, Napoleon was at his work station, a desk with three computers and a nearly startling amount of notebooks, files and loose papers. Two of the computers were running seemingly non-stop analyzing what appeared to be vast amounts of data while the third was not currently being used. A cleaned off plate was sitting to one side on his desk, out of the way and ready to be delivered back to the kitchen with it's accompanying tray. A half-empty bottle of water was closer to him, but out of reach of the computers in case of a spill.

The room held two other desks, but those were empty at the moment. One coworker was enjoying leave back home and the other was working in the computer room on a project. Napoleon basically had the place to himself at the moment, something he liked.

At the moment, he was studying a notebook before him, reconfirming plans over and over again in his head. Squeak had stopped by on her break, just after lunch, to not only bring him some food but to also confirm that Roadblock agreed to November, had time Thursday for a photo or two and even had a couple ideas for the setup. All of that was fine with the greenshirt leader.

Candy's break was coming up soon and he expected results from the confident again going over the lists provided by the mechanic, he let his eyes narrow in concentration. A system began to form in his mind to get a favorable answer from as many subjects as possible.

Having the girls ask was clearly the best idea, but they'd have to go about it just so. Dusty tended to be in and out of the kitchen on an almost regular basis, so Squeak could easily ask him the next time he was there. He'd probably also have her ask the more reserved guys, like Spirit and perhaps Recondo. Candy would come off too strong to them, making herself come across as rude or possibly even giving off that she wanted a date or making them feel like she was trying to force them into doing this.

However, against more confident guys like Gung-Ho, Candy was perfect. She could hold her own verbally against them and was much more likely to charm them into agreeing. Squeak would quickly lose her confidence and begin to stammer and mumble, as if to ask for a date or confess she liked them. The last thing he wanted was someone getting the wrong idea about this project or to land either girl in a mess that could have been easily avoided.

Napoleon quickly began to write down two separate lists of his own, assigning a set of guys to either girl based on how receptive their personalities were. As he went down the list of possible subjects, he crossed out certain names. Leatherneck and Wet Suit clashed too much to be asked either separately or together and he didn't want a fight breaking out with this project as the reason.

Stalker was married, which knocked him off of the list. Napoleon hadn't been joking when he'd said this calender might earn someone a date and he didn't want to be the cause of marital troubles. Frowning at the list of names, he focused on recalling any information that might help decide who was asked and who wasn't. A couple more Joes were crossed off on the grounds of having alluded to girlfriends and two more were knocked off on the grounds of a superstition they both had.

When he came upon the ninjas, the small male hesitated. While popular, there was a very good chance Storm Shadow would decline if asked incorrectly and Snake Eyes clearly wouldn't agree. Kamakura would probably do it if he felt he had permission to do so from his sensei so the young ninja was also an unknown variable. Frowning to himself, Napoleon almost hesitantly wrote Storm Shadow down in Squeak's list.

She had some free time this afternoon and the greenshirt leader knew Candy harbored a not-so-secret crush on the white-clad ninja. That was enough to make him decide the mechanic wouldn't be the one to ask him. Trying to work out a question and answer system for Squeak to use to get the best possible outcome, he missed the door opening to allow Flint to stomp in.

Standing in front of his desk, the brunette demanded, "What is this I hear about a calender?"

Not hearing him the first time, Napoleon certainly came out of his reverie when Flint jerked his chair so as to make him face the older man. Giving his superior an irritated stare, something that definitely wouldn't go unnoticed, the greenshirt waited for him to state the reason for this interruption. Flint certainly wasted no time, glaring down at him while demanding, "I said, what is this I hear about a calender?"

Letting his face go blank in surprise, Napoleon took a minute to answer, "Well, we are currently making a calender. Were you interested?"

That earned him a harsher glare, the warrant officer growling, "You are to cease immediately. This calender project is disgraceful."

The greenshirt leader frowned sharply, standing up out of his chair to retaliate, "We have permission from Hawk to do this, within certain guidelines. Now, despite your personal opinion, there is nothing wrong with our project."

Flint snapped, "Nothing wrong? I'm not about to let the women of this unit be used to make a quick buck for what is basically a skin mag! I'm appalled that Hawk agreed to this!"

Something about that second statement made Napoleon mentally pick at it, prompting him to just ask, "You do realize we're using male subjects as models yes?"

Flint blinked, confusion instantly settling on his face in place of the previous rage, "What?"

The smaller male kept his face blank, despite the sudden urge to laugh, "The calender is being made to appeal to women. For that, we need male models. We have guidelines that will be adhered to, including no complete nudity. If the subject doesn't follow the guidelines, we won't use them. It's basically like this, but with Joes."

At that, Napoleon opened one of the lower drawers of his desk to pull out a firefighter calender he'd collected for research and handed it over to Flint. The other briefly flipped through it, enough to get the gist of the project before handing it back. Napoleon kept a straight face as he asked, "So, are you interested in volunteering? We'll need written permission from Lady Jaye though, to help avoid any troubles."

Flint just shook his head, mumbled something about wanting no part of this and something that sounded like a swear of vengeance against Shipwreck as he left the small room. The information specialist let himself enjoy a smirk at his superior's expense before sitting back down to return to his work. If he had to guess, Candy most likely had asked around for volunteers and rumors about the calender's purpose had been spread.

Napoleon made a note to talk with her about this when she came in soon. After that, he could take a break of his own and use that opportunity to talk to Squeak about what he needed her to do when he returned his lunch tray. Getting an idea, he used his free computer to check the work roster for today. Perhaps he could do a little asking of his own during his break and the subjects in turn could help him.

Feeling quite pleased at this turn of events, the dark-haired male sat back in his chair, idly watching the information fly by on the screens of his two active computers while waiting for Candy's arrival. He just loved it when a plan helped itself along.

(-)

Duke: (talking with HD) So this Wildwing guy said to just give her candy?

Heavy Duty: Yeah, otherwise she goes a little nuts around Halloween and Easter. He said if we can't get her a bag, then a candy bar or two would do.

Duke: (glancing at the authoress) I see...

Tiny: (munching on candy) Eh, sorry this is short. The next chapter will be longer, I swear! Feedback is appreciated! Oh, and that superstition mentioned in the story? Many people believe that when their picture is taken, they lose a bit of their soul with it.


	4. Chapter 4

TinySprite: (groans as she waves at the screen) Hey...don't mind me..just gonna lay here...

Jynx: (looking down at the authoress) That's what you get for pigging out on all that candy.

Spirit: I'll do the disclaimer.

**Disclaimer:** TinySprite owns nothing of GI Joe aside from the original characters. The plot was inspired by a twitter conversation. Hasbro owns GI Joe.

(–)

The following day saw Napoleon in Flint's office, standing before the other man's desk and being made to wait while his superior finished filling out and filing away some forms. Recognizing this as a bit of payback for his behavior yesterday, the greenshirt simply waited and hid his impatience at this. Finally Flint looked up, folding his hands before him on the desk, "Napoleon, I checked with Hawk and your project does indeed have his permission. However, I brought up a few points with him that he also agreed to."

That got the smaller male's attention, "Oh? What would those be, sir?"

The brunette before him shrugged slightly, "Nothing major, just a few little loose ends that needed to be tied up. Such as this."

Flint located a specific folder he needed from a stack of near identical ones on his desk, pulling it free with care to not knock over the rest. Handing it over to Napoleon, he went on, "I noticed that you filed everything correctly yet there was still something missing. Namely, permission forms."

Blinking, Napoleon opened the folder and glanced at its contents. Sure enough, there were several permission forms inside, though thankfully they were simple ones. Feeling irritated at the fact he'd forgotten something, the dark-haired male nodded at his superior, "Thank you sir. I'm very sorry for the oversight."

Flint returned the nod with a slight one of his own, "Make sure any volunteers you use sign one and that you turn those in to me when this project is over. If you need more forms, you can get them from me."

The information specialist nodded again, "Yes sir. I will make sure to do that."

Apparently satisfied, the warrant officer motioned to his door in an unspoken dismissal, "Good luck with your project."

Napoleon gave him a half-smile as he left, "Thank you sir."

Still irritated, the greenshirt went from Flint's office straight to the kitchen. With any luck, Roadblock would be there, as would Squeak. Grumbling to himself, Napoleon came upon the door and glanced inside to see his friend busy chopping some vegetables. Walking over to her, he dodged around another greenshirt cook carrying a large tray and nearly ran into Roadblock himself in the process. Taking advantage of this, Napoleon quickly pulled out a permission form from the folder and held it up, "Sir, I need you to sign this before we can take your photo."

Glancing at it, the larger man nodded, "Got a pen? I can take care of that right now."

Nodding, Napoleon fished one out of his shirt pocket and handed it over. Roadblock put the form on a clean counter and read it over before signing and dating the form at the bottom. Handing both pen and form back to the greenshirt, Roadblock located a clean dish towel and wiped the counter down before moving off to check on something in one of the stoves that smelled wonderful. Thanking him as he left, Napoleon put the signed form back into the folder and continued on to Squeak. He tapped her shoulder to get her attention, once she'd placed the knife down, "Squeak, come talk to me when you have some free time."

She glanced up, nodded and went back to her task, mumbling to herself as she measured out the chopped vegetables into a nearby stew pot. Feeling he'd stayed here long enough, Napoleon quickly left before he did something to anger any of the cooks. He still needed to find the others and let them know about the forms.

In hindsight, he should have thought of this himself. Well...he had in a way, but not for the male subjects. If a volunteering subject, one that was not asked by them but instead had offered to be part of the project, had a girlfriend or wife, Napoleon had decided to request written permission from her stating that she herself did not mind her significant other modeling for the calender. In theory, it would help cut down on several problems but honestly, he should have thought to extend it to the males as well.

Curious, Napoleon stepped to the side of the hall, out of the way, and pulled out a blank form to look at it. As he noticed from his earlier glance, the form was simple. It just stated that permission was given for their photo to be used in the calender and/or the accompanying portfolio with designated space for a signature and date at the bottom. There was a specific stamp in the upper left corner on all the papers and Napoleon had a feeling only Flint had access to the stamper.

Satisfied, Napoleon put it back and went back to his search. Really, he just had to find Candy and let her know. She'd pass the word around about the forms, saving him the trouble. Deciding on that, he set out to find her. It was easy enough, she was in the motor pool all day today, but the where was something he didn't know. Oddly, everyone there seemed to be in a foul mood but he couldn't see any clear reason why.

Napoleon noticed Candy in one corner of the motor pool, several tool chests surrounding her and a scowl on her face. Two other greenshirt mechanics were with her, equally visibly irritated. Noticing him, she pointed almost threateningly in his direction, "Not now Napoleon, we've got enough to do at the moment as it is."

He blinked, but stayed back, "What's the problem?"

One of the other greenshirts griped, "Some idiots messed with the tools. We have to recount every tool chest in the motor pool and ensure they're in proper order."

Napoleon nodded, but couldn't help his curiosity, "Messed with?"

Candy growled as she took a pair of similar seeming wrenches from one drawer and handed them off to the taller mechanic to her right, "Yeah, messed with. They changed around the order, mixed tools up between chests and a few have a 'little extra' tossed in."

Before he could ask, the third greenshirt mechanic swore as the wrench he pulled out of a drawer trailed what looked like wet putty behind it. Accepting a rag and some disinfectant wipes from the second mechanic, he got to work cleaning the wrench and the area beneath it, swearing again under his breath. The other mechanic wrote it down on a pad of paper before continuing his own work. Napoleon glanced at Candy, "Prank gone wrong or someone feeling malicious?"

She threw her free hand in the air, "Your guess is as good as ours. This is going to take _hours_ to do!"

The other two grumbled in agreement, both clearly getting more irritated by the second. The information specialist couldn't help his curiosity, "Is it all the tool chests?"

Candy frowned, stopping her work briefly, "No...Cover Girl's was left alone, but she tends to lock hers. Mainly because guys kept trying to leave her notes in there when she first became a Joe, and some still try to. Aside from that, yeah, basically all of them were messed with."

Nodding, Napoleon made a series of quick decisions, placing the folder down on top of Candy's own tool chest before rolling up his sleeves, "Where should I start?"

The sudden, brief smile on her face told him he'd made the right decision. She pointed to the chest next to her, "Start at the top and work your way down. Anything that's out of place take out and hand over to me. Let me know when you've finished a drawer and I'll see what's missing out of it and try to find it if I can. We don't know what the gunk is but it cleans up pretty easily, though a few of them have been smeared with peanut butter. We're keeping track of it on the paper pad there, so just let us know whenever you find a mess."

He nodded, opening the first drawer, "Are these really all of the tool chests?"

His friend shook her head, "The spare ones and those assigned to greenshirts. The Joe mechanics handled their personal ones. Oh god is this cherry jello?"

At that the three males glanced over to see that the drawer she had opened was in fact filled with the glistening red substance. Candy growled under her breath, taking in and releasing a few deep breathes to calm herself before going through the motions of cleaning it up. One of the others wrote down the incident on the aforementioned pad of paper, shaking his head. Napoleon had a feeling it would get quite full by the time they were done.

Almost two hours later found Squeak arriving at the motor pool, only to scurry right back out with a permission form in her hands and instructions to not come back until she'd gotten it signed. Making herself slow down in the halls, she arrived soon enough at an innocent looking door. Gulping to calm her nerves, the cook timidly knocked on the door and waited.

Soon after, the door opened to reveal Kamakura, dressed for training but he didn't have a shirt on and he was rubbing one end of a towel against the side of his face, "Can I help you?"

She was momentarily distracted by his being shirtless but snapped out of it in time to save some of her dignity, "Uh...ye-yes. I need to speak with Sgt. Storm Shadow...please?"

"What do you need?" came from right behind her, nearly making Squeak jump up and possibly into Kamakura. How she hadn't screamed was beyond her, though it was probably appreciated. Meanwhile, Storm Shadow smiled, clearly happy he could still scare greenshirts whenever he felt like.

Forcing herself to be calm, she held up the form and borrowed pen to the older ninja, squeaking out, "We need you to sign this if you're going to be part of the calender, sir."

Making a noise in his throat, Storm Shadow accepted the paper and pen, making a motion with one of his hands. Recognizing it, Squeak turned around and leaned forward a little to let him use her back to sign the paper. He did so quickly, stepping back to let her turn back around before handing both over, "Here you go. Is this all?"

The greenshirt cook nodded, "If you have any ideas for your photo shoot, please bring them to Napoleon. Otherwise we'll have to go with a standard idea and please do remember the guidelines I told you yesterday."

The ninja nodded, moving to side-step her to enter the ninja-only dojo, an unspoken rule from back when he'd first joined up with GI Joe. Kamakura was looking curiously between the superior ninja and the female greenshirt, clearly wondering what this exchange was about.

Squeak just gave him a smile and walked back down the hall. Once she was out of sight of the ninja and in a somewhat secluded hall, the young woman fell to her knees and started gasping. As soon as her small freak out was under control, Squeak stood back up and made a bee-line for the motor pool. She had a mess to help clean up and a signed permission form to turn in.

(-)

Tiny: (curled around a pillow) Where's my candy...

Scarlet: No, no more for you.

Snake Eyes: (walking off with the candy)

Tiny: Ugh...I'll get it back later...feedback is really appreciated. Especially for this chapter, just felt like there was so much wrong with it. Bunny kept changing its mind...


	5. Chapter 5

TinySprite: (waves energetically at the screen) Hey! Here's the next chapter, enjoy. I'm taking a nap now...(falls over twitching)

Duke: (pinching the bridge of his nose) Who gave her more candy?

Spirit: Actually I think it was coffee this time...

Snake Eyes: (holds up a sign with the disclaimer)

**Disclaimer:** TinySprite does not own GI Joe, which is copyright of Hasbro. The original characters are hers. The plot was inspired by a twitter conversation.

(-)

Napoleon drummed his fingers on his work desk, a mental timer counting down in his head. After almost two whole minutes of consistent drumming, his coworker shot him a death glare that demanded silence. Satisfied, the small male stopped his drumming and returned his attention to his computers. A new record, apparently Digit was becoming more patient or at least more tolerant of background noise.

Napoleon just managed to keep from yawning, not wanting to give his coworker something to needle him on in return for the drumming. Despite loving his work, he did have bouts of boredom and sometimes didn't even feel like plotting schemes. This was one such time. No hits on either computer, waiting on Candy to come in and confirm she had the equipment and no new ideas for any kind of project brewing in his head.

Just as he was seriously considering if he could take a power nap without Digit's notice, the office door opened. Mercury poked his head inside, clearly irritated, "Hey, we got the stuff and it's all set up. You coming or what?"

Feeling wide awake, Napoleon nodded, standing up, "Just one minute."

Securing his computers, the information specialist grabbed a pair of notebooks and a few extra pens. Double-checking quickly to ensure he had everything and that there were no loose ends, Napoleon followed Mercury out of the office.

They trekked down the halls into the kitchen, where the rest of the group was waiting. Atlas nodded at them from the door where he was apparently standing guard at. Candy was holding onto a high quality camera, chatting with Roadblock while Squeak stood off to one side, muttering to herself while glancing at all the ingredients they had out. The Joe heavy gunner had turned down the offer of snacks and turned it around, wanting his photo in the kitchen with food involved.

It was after lunch, yet still too early for dinner preparations. Despite that, they only had a short window of time to get this done in. The delicious scent of cooking meat was already coming from some ovens and judging from the sight of the pots with bubbling soup, Roadblock had been preparing at least since lunch let out.

Napoleon figured it was Roadblock's status among the cooking staff that let them have the kitchen for now, since Squeak was the only other cook in there. Despite that, once word got around that Roadblock was cooking, the mess would get crowded quickly and Napoleon had no doubt that some would try to sneak into the kitchen for a bite.

Clapping his hands, the greenshirt leader got the others attention, "Are we ready to go here?"

While Squeak ignored him, Candy nodded eagerly and Roadblock smiled, "Ready whenever you are."

Mercury just went to help Atlas guard the door, shaking his head. Atlas himself simply shrugged, "So long as we get this over with before the horde gets here..."

Wincing slightly at that reminder, Napoleon looked back over at the others, "Let's get started. We're going to be taken a series of shots and use the best one in the calender. The others will be placed in the portfolio. Please remember our guidelines and overall, let's have fun sir."

Roadblock nodded, a half-smile on his face as he removed his shirt, "I know. Proceeds are going to a good cause right?"

Napoleon answered him while Candy proceeded to take pictures, "It's a surprise but yes, they are, sir."

The gourmet chef accepted the answer, but the information specialist felt he'd have more questions for him later. In the end, they had about two dozen pictures of Roadblock preparing a meal and showing off some food. Squeak helped him on the sidelines, making an effort to stay out of the photos when possible. Mercury and Atlas both perked up once they were allowed to have something to eat and did their job well of guarding the kitchen.

However, they could be forgiven for the ninjas making a sudden appearance for food, having been attracted by the various delicious smells. Thankfully that was towards the end of the shoot, so their arrival didn't ruin anything. Hearing the growing sounds of other arrivals, Napoleon figured it was time to wrap it up, "Okay, that should be enough. Thank you again sir."

Roadblock nodded again as he pulled his shirt back on, "No problem."

While Squeak stayed behind to help with the food, the other four greenshirts left. Atlas nearly had to drag Candy out, but she finally left...when he took the camera from her. Mercury followed them, with Napoleon being the last out. Any further questions Roadblock might have had would have to wait until later.

Some of the cooking staff walked passed them into the kitchen as the group left, obviously to help Roadblock. Further down the hall, Napoleon flipped open his notebook to consult it. Roadblock had been the only one they had scheduled today but tomorrow they had two.

Rechecking the times and locations, the small greenshirt called out, "Hey Candy, remember to download those pictures and bring your camera tomorrow. We've got two subjects to photograph."

The mechanic waved a hand at him, having reclaimed her camera, "Don't worry about it, I've got it under control. Meet up with Shipwreck and Gung Ho at two, then I go back to the motor pool to meet up with Clutch and...um..."

Napoleon easily supplied her the answer, "Cross Country. Atlas and Mercury will both accompany you to both locations."

His tone left no room for argument, not that there was any beyond an almost obligatory grumble from Candy. They dodged some people rushing, but not quite running, to the kitchen. Napoleon recognized Digit in the other group. After they were gone, Atlas frowned in thought, "Hey, who's on Saturday again?"

The smallest male simply glanced down at his notebook, "No one in the morning, but in the afternoon we have a tentative scheduling for Recondo and maybe Spirit."

"Maybe?" the question was followed by the girl unwrapping a piece of hard candy to suck on.

Napoleon shrugged, "He's signed a permission form but he's still a little unsure about it. Recondo said he was fine with sharing or not so it's really not a big worry."

The other three nodded, Atlas clarifying, "There's a poker game on Saturday night, I was thinking of joining."

The greenshirt leader mentally rolled his eyes and suspected the other two of doing the same. Atlas enjoyed playing card games, but that didn't mean he was good at them. He lost more often than he won, but that didn't stop him. Candy still tried though, "You shouldn't, you know how it usually plays out."

The tall greenshirt shrugged, a friendly smile on his face, "Eh, might be my lucky night then."

The other three hid sighs, knowing now that he definitely was joining in. Mercury changed the subject, "Hey, we have enough people right?"

Napoleon nodded, "Plenty, trust me."

Apparently the boredom had driven a good number of Joes to volunteer for the calender once word had gotten around about it. It was better than them pulling pranks, to an extent, but it almost resulted in too many applicants. Thankfully though, many of the Joes didn't mind sharing a month and a few didn't even mind if they weren't in the calender but just the portfolio instead.

Napoleon flipped through his notebook a bit, mumbling to himself as an idea wiggled into life. Recognizing the look on his face, the other three simply continued on ahead. Used to this, the dark-haired male just went back to the office his work station was in. Candy would take care of the pictures and he could look at them later, to ensure the quality and decide which one to use in the calender.

Sitting in his chair, the small male glanced at his desk to make sure nothing had been messed with. Only to find it had been, as the folder containing the permission forms was in clear view right in front of him. Frowning, Napoleon set aside his now closed notebook to pick up the folder, carefully.

Gently flipping it open, he felt his eyes nearly pop out of his skull. There was a new signed permission slip on the top of the others, with an attached written permission slip. The information specialist stared at it for a good five minutes before carefully picking it up. Underneath it was yet another new form, also with an attached slip. At least another five minutes passed before he picked that one up too. Thankfully there was no new one below the second one, so he quietly put them back before re-closing the folder and returning it to its secure location in one of his desk drawers.

As he straightened back up in his chair, a wide smile came onto his face, nearly reaching demented proportions. He couldn't have planned it any better than how it was happening by itself.

(-)

Tiny: (sitting up, sipping water) Not satisfied with this chapter, but at least it's moving plot along. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Sigma 6 gang: (out of the house, enjoying a break)


	6. Chapter 6

TinySprite: (in background, wrestling with plot bunny) Just work with me! Is that too much to ask?

Kamakura: (looking at a chart) I think she's hit a new record here. Almost seven months straight of wrestling.

Spirit: (shakes his head) I've got the disclaimer.

**Disclaimer:** TinySprite does not own GI Joe, which is copy right of Hasbro. The plot was inspired by a twitter conversation. Only the original characters are hers.

(-)

Napoleon's good mood got him through the next few days, where it received another boost in the form of an unmarked packet left on his desk. Part of him knew the stakes he was taking with this, but it would be worth it!

The rest of his team, on the other hand, were almost at their wits' end. Cobra still had made no move and the Joes were reaching dangerous levels of boredom, which caused a situation involving some red item of cloth and a load of Storm Shadow's laundry. Needless to say, the ninja had not been amused and everyone, whether or not they'd been in on it, regretted it at the next few hand to hand sessions.

Still, he had work to do. Currently, it was during his break and he was finishing up some research for their calender. He was waiting on Candy to arrive so he could get the latest pictures from her camera and try out an arrangement he thought would fit best for the calendar. She should be arriving at any minute, as his latest glance at the office clock told him.

Unfortunately, Napoleon wasn't feeling very patient at the moment and worse, the shared office was empty except for him. Normally a preferred setting, right now it just irritated him to no end. He wanted to get things done, not wait around for everyone else to catch up!

Settling it in his mind, the short male began to collect his things in order to track his friend down and get the camera himself. Knowing Candy, she was probably gossiping with friends or distracted with work. It would be simple enough to get what he wanted and return here to continue on his work.

After he secured everything at his desk and had left the office, Napoleon went on the hunt for the mechanic, going first to the motor pool. She wasn't there, which meant that she was probably off gossiping somewhere. With a grumble, he began his trek anew, trying to mentally pinpoint where she would be at this time.

This close to lunch, the kitchen would be too busy for her to be chatting with Squeak. She could be with Mercury, who was just about living in one of the labs due to both work and an attempt to avoid getting caught in the cross-fire of any more pranks. Atlas might know, but Napoleon wasn't too sure where he'd be at the moment.

His search was cut short though, as Candy herself practically walked into him at the next corner, an odd thing for her. He opened his mouth to say something, only to shut it at the sight of her face. Being with the Joes, one saw plenty of various facial expressions, but hers was definitely unique.

An odd mix of interest, disbelief, shock and general 'wth', Candy didn't even seem to notice either Napoleon himself nor the fact she'd just about walked into him. The short male glanced around, trying to see just what made her look like that. As for herself, Candy mumbled something and tried to walk past him, prompting Napoleon to take hold of her arm.

That got her attention, her blue eyes finally focusing in on him. The look in them was no different than that on her face, though there was a spark in there that made him feel unsettled. Before he could say anything, the mechanic asked, "Did you know Deep Six has a girlfriend?"

The information specialist blinked once, then twice, his most likely blank face telling her his answer. Candy went on, "They had a fight, he wants to know if he can't preorder a calender for her."

Napoleon blinked again, but managed to reply, "I don't see an issue with that."

The brunette nodded, handing him her camera with her free hand, "I...I need to go now."

He released her arm, offering, "Psyche-Out has this afternoon free, I think."

Candy nodded at him and began to walk off down the hall in the general direction of the team's psychiatrist. Napoleon followed her, to ensure she got there safely. Once he confirmed that, he began the walk back to his office, his mind buzzing at this new information.

Chiefly among them, besides wonder just how Deep Six (who was well known to spurn human interaction) got a girlfriend, was the seemingly innocent question of how many other Joes would buy a calender for upset girlfriends or just for them in general.

Napoleon began to smile again, the kind that usually got him dragged to Psyche-Out's office. This was a good day.

(-)

Tiny: (slumped on floor, bunny doing victory leaps around her) Okay, sorry it's not much, but here's the latest chapter. Feedback is much appreciated!


End file.
